Tim Lavoie Elated At First Gold

Tim Lavoie's Fightin' Ovechkins took the first gold medal of the games, upsetting Brittany B.'s favored Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches to win the Normal Hill Ski Jumping cometition.
It wasn't even close as Simon Ammann easily took the gold.

B.'s squad - predicted right here to get gold and bronze - had to settle for a single bronze medal from favorite Gregor Schlierenzauer. He had a disappointing first jump and an amazing second jump for the medal.

Poland's Adam Malysz (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) took the silver. But it provided small consolation for their manager, who at press time was in his 48th hour of crying while drunkenly muttering, "Lindsay..."

That's 16.7 points for LaVoie, 8.3 for Kunka and 4.2 for B. The victorious manager Tim LaVoie, never one to miss a chance to celebrate, is currently celebrating by reading "The Discovery Plan" from Westlaw's "Judicial Management, Process & Selection" series.