Binz Disgrace Increases B. Lead

John Binz's Da Nang Dynamos were set to take all three medals in the 1500 meter Short Track Speed Skating final. Three South Koreans were in the lead at the final turn with no one else on the screen, when two crashed into each other - gifting the silver and bronze medals to Apolo Ohno and J.R. Celski of the USA, representing Brittany B.'s first place Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches.

"A person who should have just fallen in line and taken his freakin' bronze and been happy with an all Korea podium, gets greedy, falls, and gets disqualified," said Binz.
Later that night, in an upset, Brian Schwartz's Nordique Combined took two freestyle skiing medals as Americans won gold and bronze in the women's moguls. Canada and Adam Claus's Ice Lugers took silver. Undrafted competitors have been shut out as our league has shown its dominant knowledge.

STANDINGS THROUGH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13

1. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
27.8 PointsBiathlon 10 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 9.4 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

2. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
16.7 PointsSki Jumping 16.7 (1G)

3. Ellis Kunka, Cornballers
16.6 PointsSki Jumping 8.3 (1B)
Speed Skating 8.3 (1G)

4. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
15.6 PointsFreestyle Skiing 15.6 (1G, 1B)

5. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
13.4 PointsFreestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S)
Biathlon 5 (1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

6. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
12.5 PointsShort Track Speed Skating 12.5 (1G)

7. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
2.5 PointsBiathlon 2.5 (1B)