Thursday Fantasy Skiing Picks

9:30 AM PST - Alpine SkiingThe ladies' Giant Slalom finishes up after postponing their second run yesterday due to fog. Austria (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) has three of the top four skiers after the first run including first place Elisabeth Goergl. Tania Barioz of France (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) is in second only .02 seconds behind.
Undrafted Tina Maze of Slovenia is in fifth while two German skiers, also undrafted, are in sixth and seventh. Americans Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) are out of the running.

10 AM & 1 PM PST - Nordic CombinedNordic Combined finishes today with the Large Hill ski jump/10k cross country race. My pick to win the 16.7 point gold medal is Magnus Moan of Norway (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined), the strongest skier in the field. If he gets a decent jump he should be close enough to chase down whoever starts ahead of him in the 10k.

Jason Lamy Chappuis, born in Missoula, Montana, is competing for France (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) and won the normal hill/10k event. He's my pick for silver. The USA's Bill Demong (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) of Saranac Lake, New York, is the defending World Cup champion and my choice for bronze.

11 AM PST - Cross Country SkiingLed by the top women's skier in the world, Marit Bjoergen, Norway (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) is a heavy favorite to win the Women's 4x5k relay.

The Germans (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) won the team sprint and with a relay led by Evi Sachenbacher-Stehle and Claudia Nystad are my choice for silver. Russia (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) has two good skiers in Irina Khazova and Natalie Korosteleva and is my pick for bronze.

Finland (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) was the favorite in this event going into the Games but hasn't won any medals yet in the individual events. Sweden (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined) is traditionally good in this relay too but I don't think they have enough strong siers behind Charlotte Kalla.

3 Skiing Medals Up Tuesday Afternoon

1 PM PST - Alpine SkiingCornballers (Ellis Kunka) have a chance to extend their lead if American Bode Miller can take another gold in the Men's Giant Slalom.

Historically this has been an Austrian dominated event. Austria (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) has won every gold since Nagano and have the two favorites again this year, Marcel Kirscher and Benjamin Raich.

However, I think the Austrians will settle for silver and bronze. Bode Miller clearly relishes the underdog role and would love to get another gold. He's my pick for gold. Italian Massimiliano Blardone (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) is another strong contender. Suprisingly there are only two pictures online of Bode Miller in any kind of a compromising pose and I have already posted them, forcing me to run this Bode Miller political cartoon.

2 PM PST - Nordic CombinedNordique Combined (Brian Schwartz) needs a big rebound from their namesake team Norway in the Team 4x5k Relay. They won't get it.

The relay team consists of four athletes, each of whom jumps once on the large hill and skis a 5k. Team USA (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) hasn't medaled in this event since Nagano but has to be the choice for gold. They had three of the top six finishers in the individual Nordic combined event, Johnny Spillane, Todd Lodwick and Bill Demong.

Austria (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club), the only other team which placed all of its competitors in the top 25 of the individual event, is my pick for silver.
In a shocking upset, I'm predicting that none of the plus sign countries will even medal. Germany (Dave Spence/Paragons) had all four team members in the top 28 of the individual event and is my choice for bronze.

2:03 PM PST - Freestyle SkiingOphélie David of France (inexplicably undrafted) is my pick to take gold in the Women's Ski Cross. This is the first time the event has been contested at the Olympics, but Ophelie has won gold at the last four Winter X Games.

After Ophélie David, the Canadians Ashleigh McIvor, Kelsey Serwa and Julia Murray (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) are the best at this event. Normally I would pick Julia Murray to medal but her status recovering from an injury is questionable. I'm picking McIvor, the extremely talented defending world champion pictured at right, for silver.

Fanny Smith of Switzerland (Joy Sadaly/Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney) is supposedly a contender but I'm saying she won't medal because she's apparently at least 130 years old.

Nordique Combined Humiliated

Brian Schwartz's Nordique Combined squad was left reeling Sunday after their namesake team failed to get even a single medal in the first of three Nordic Combined events at the Games.

Ellis Kunka was the beneficiary as his Cornballers picked up a big 16.7 point gold medal courtesy of France's Jason Chappuis. Brittany B.'s Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches got the 8.3 point silver medal, as B.'s upset record continued with Team USA's first ever medal in the sport.

"I was expecting two medals on a bad day," said a (now much less overconfident) Schwartz - who had been incredibly pleased with his Norway nordic pick. "The sport is not called French Combined and frankly I don't even want to think about what that sport would be."
Also picking up golds were a couple of other much-maligned squads, Zach Chromiak's Banker's Club (France Biathlon) and Tim Lavoie's Fightin' Ovechkins (Czech Speed Skating). Dave Spence got on the board with 2.1 points thanks to a bronze for Canadian speed skating.

Overall the afternoon was a disaster for Nordique Combined. The squad could be out of the running early if their German Luge team can't get at least gold and silver during the final round of men's singles, going on right now.

Biathlon, Nordic Combined Competitions Begin

Buck Tooth Rabbit Bitches hope to extend their lead as the Fantasy Winter Olympics continue Sunday with five medals being awarded including four in the morning/afternoon.

11:15 AM PST - BiathlonBiathlon will award it's first men's medal Sunday with the 10km Sprint. This sport is one of the most unique and challenging in the Games, combining the exertion of cross-country skiing with the precision of shooting. Here's hoping NBC devotes more than 15 minutes to this competition unlike Saturday.

The sport's all-time greatest athlete, Norway's Ole Einar Bjørndalen (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos), is favored to take his sixth career gold medal. He won this event at Nagano and Salt Lake City as well as at the 2009 World Championships. Also I am a sucker for athletes with that crossed-out O in their names, so I guess I'll be picking a lot of Norwegians until China adopts that convention. Fellow Norwegian Emil Hegle Svendsen is my pick to take the silver. Unlike in short track skating, Da Nag Dynamos won't depend on their athletes not crashing into each other so two medals are actually possible.
While the top two Norwegians are in a tier above their competitors, there's a good group just behind them including my pick for bronze, Austrian Dominik Landertinger (undrafted). Russian Evgeny Ustyugov (Joy Sadaly/Olympic Ring...) is an upstart challenger who will look to give Joy Sadaly's squad her first medal. He hails from the great Siberian city Krasnoyarsk, heretofore known mainly for its mail order brides. And Norwegian Lars Berger, the third best biathlete from his country, could also be the third best in the world. Finally don't count out German Michael Greis (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers), but I think he's stronger in the other biathlon events than the sprint.

1:00 PM PST - Speed SkatingThe first women's speed skating event will be the long distance 3000 meter. The Czech Republic's Martina Sáblíková (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins), silver medalist at last year's World Championships, is the most consistent skater and is my pick for the gold medal.

The other medals are basically a toss-up between Canadians Kristina Groves and Cindy Klassen (Dave Spence/Paragons), German Stephanie Beckert (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos), and Turin gold medalist Ireen Wüst of the Netherlands (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers).

1:00 PM PST - LugeThe men's singles luge competition, which began Saturday, will award its medals Sunday afternoon. The third run is scheduled for 1:00 PM PST and the fourth and final run starts at 3:10 PM PST.

The leaders after two runs are Germans Felix Loch and David Moeller (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined). Italy's Armin Zoeggeler (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) is third. German Albert Demtschenko, Austrian Daniel Pfister (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) and Russian Albert Demtschenko (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) are close behind in this sport where a tenth of a second means everything. I have to think the Germans hold onto their lead with Italy taking the bronze, which was basically the expected result before the first two rounds began.

The Canadian coach has been whining about moving the start of the course for safety because, umm, somebody DIED. With no Canadian finishing better than 10th in either run, hsi words sound like sour grapes to me and are insensitive as well.

1:45 PM PST - Nordic CombinedThis event which combines ski jumping and cross country skiing kicks off with the Individual Normal Hill/10 kilometer Cross Country event at 1:45. You have to love these events which combine two totally different sports. Imagine if ice hockey was like that. Hockey Combined, combining Offensive Hockey and Defensive Hockey. Alex Ovechkin would be terrible at that.

This is a wide open event. Norway's Magnus Moan (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined), ranked fourth in the world, is one of the best cross country skiiers but a weaker jumper. I think he'll hunt down his competitors and take the gold.
Frenchman Jason Larny Chappuis (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) is the current World Cup leader and the favorite in this event, solid in both portions. He's my pick for silver. He's said he feels a lot of pressure from the French media, but I don't really believe in the psychological angles.

Finland's Hannu Manninen (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) earned team medals at the last three Olympics. He's stronger on the cross country skiing side, but I think he'll take the bronze for his first individual Olympic medal.

Austria's Felix Gottwald (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club), who already has six Olympic medals including two gold, returned from retirement just for these Olympics and is another favorite. American veterans Todd Lodwick, Bill Demong and Johnny Spillane (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) all have a shot to medal as well.

Of course, check back later for a preview of the evening events and other updates.