Fantasy Summer Olympics blog is up

When blog favorite Magdalena Neuner isn't competing in the biathlon, she's reading about Summer Olympic sports in the 2012 Fantasy Summer Olympics Blog.  You should be too.

Our Top Search Terms

With the Vancouver Olympics now over, let's take a look at my favorite search terms that brought visitors to this site.

5. fantasy biathlon
Apparently our fantasy game is not nearly focused enough.

4. jonathan toews
Not a funny search term at all, but I'm just wondering how many pages of Toews information this person clicked through before finally finding this site which mentioned him once.

3. fantasy ilympics kunka
It feels great to be the go-to site for all those Ellis Kunka fans who can't spell Olympics.

2. what happened with john in short track tonight
This site was indeed probably the best resource for finding out what happened to John Binz's short track team. However, I am quite surprised that this person found the correct result. What a testament to the computer programming community.

1. jaromír jágr romance
This was the best search result, and it's not even close. It's even funnier when you consider that this site wasn't one of the top 100 search results for this particular term. I have not spent much time in my life thinking about the romantic side of Jagr, or any other right winger for that matter.

Final Standings

The Fantasy Winter Olympics closed today with two of the greatest events we saw at Vancouver. Norwegian Petter Northug (Zach Chromiak/Nordique Combined) took the Men's 50k Mass Start with a furious closing sprint. It was his second gold and fourth medal of the Games.
Northug edged out German Axel Teichmann (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) by just 0.3 seconds. John Olsson (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined) took the silver, only one second behind.

And of course, in the gold medal hockey game, Team USA (Dave Spence/Paragons) mounted an unlikely comeback to force overtime on Zach Parise's goal with 25 seconds remaining in the third period. But of course it was Sidney Crosby scoring the golden goal for Team Canada (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined) in overtime.
The gold moved Nordique Combined into second, but Cornballers had already clinched the title last night. I'll double check the final standings tomorrow, but here they are. Their manager Ellis Kunka can celebrate while the defeated teams start working on their 2014 draft strategies.

FINAL FANTASY WINTER OLYMPIC STANDINGS

1. Ellis Kunka, Cornballlers
280.1 PointsAlpine Skiing 42.5 (2G, 3S, 3B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Curling 25 (1G)
Figure Skating 31.3 (1G, 1B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.4 (1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 25 (2B)
Luge 25 (1G, 1S)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 50 (4G)
Ski Jumping 16.6 (2S)
Speed Skating 35.4 (3G, 1S, 3B)

2. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
257.1 PointsBiathlon 10 (2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 37.5 (3G, 2S, 2B)
Curling 6.3 (1B)
Figure Skating 25 (1G)
Freestyle Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 100 (2G)
Luge 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Skeleton 12.5 (1S)

3. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
233.5 PointsAlpine Skiing 20 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Biathlon 17.5 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Bobsleigh 20.9 (1G, 1B)
Cross Country Skiing 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Curling 12.5 (1S)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Nordic Combined 41.6 (1G, 3S)
Short Track Speed Skating 25 (2S, 4B)
Ski Jumping 25.1 (1G, 2B)
Snowboarding 12.5 (1S, 1B)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 2S)

4. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
212.8 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Biathlon 40 (3G, 2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Curling 6.3 (1B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1S)
Short Track Speed Skating 56.4 (2G, 4S, 2B)
Speed Skating 20.9 (1G, 3S)

5. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
208.2 PointsAlpine Skiing 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 29.2 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Cross Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Skeleton 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 33.4 (2G)
Snowboarding 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 18.7 (2G, 1B)

6. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
205.7 PointsBiathlon 27.5 (1G, 2S, 3B)
Bobsleigh 33.3 (1G, 1B, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 54.1 (5G, 2S, 2B)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Luge 4.2 (1B)
Nordic Combined 20.9 (1G, 1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 3.1 (1B)
Ski Jumping 8.3 (1S)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1G)
Speed Skating 18.8 (1G, 2S, 1B)

7. Dave Spence, Paragons
204.6 PointsAlpine Skiing 10 (2S)
Biathlon 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ice Hockey 50 (2S)
Luge 8.3 (1S)
Nordic Combined 4.2 (1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 40.7 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 25 (2G, 1S, 2B)

8. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
143.5 PointsAlpine Skiing 5 (2B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Cross-Country Skiing 25.1 (1G, 4S)
Curling 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 20.8 (2G, 1S)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

9. Joy Sadaly, Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney
131.3 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (2G, 1B)
Biathlon 27.5 (2G, 1S, 1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.3 (1G)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 41.7 (2G, 1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

Ellis Kunka Clinches Championship

Cornballers clinched the Fantasy Winter Olympics when Team Finland defeated Slovakia 5-3 in the bronze medal hockey game. What a great run for the team that has led for the past week. And an amazing managing job by Ellis Kunka.
Just as I have admitted that Derek Jeter is a Hall of Famer, so too must I admit that Ellis Kunka is the best Fantasy Olympic manager.

Nordique Combined manager Brian Schwartz - the only team remaining in contention - texted Cornballers with a conciliatory message just minutes ago. "Congratulations on winning the Fantasy Olympics. I couldn't have lost to a better man," he wrote.

"Thank you," replied Kunka. "The party will be extraordinary."

I really don't think that Chase Utley attended the 2009 Yankees' World Series celebration. Of course, as a multimillionaire, Chase Utley had less of an interest in drinking for free.

Ellis Kunka's team had an amazing run. Critics be damned, he is a great champion. I hope the champagne tastes good.

Standings Update

Pending the result of the Slovakia-Finland bronze medal game which Slovakia leads 3-1, here are the standings. Brittany B.'s team made a huge charge into second today but is mathematically eliminated from contention.

STANDINGS THROUGH SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 27

1. Ellis Kunka, Cornballlers
267.6 PointsAlpine Skiing 42.5 (2G, 3S, 3B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Curling 25 (1G)
Figure Skating 31.3 (1G, 1B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.4 (1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 12.5 (1B)
Luge 25 (1G, 1S)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 50 (4G)
Ski Jumping 16.6 (2S)
Speed Skating 35.4 (3G, 1S, 3B)

2. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
233.5 PointsAlpine Skiing 20 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Biathlon 17.5 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Bobsleigh 20.9 (1G, 1B)
Cross Country Skiing 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Curling 12.5 (1S)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Nordic Combined 41.6 (1G, 3S)
Short Track Speed Skating 25 (2S, 4B)
Ski Jumping 25.1 (1G, 2B)
Snowboarding 12.5 (1S, 1B)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 2S)

3. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
212.8 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Biathlon 40 (3G, 2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Curling 6.3 (1B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1S)
Short Track Speed Skating 56.4 (2G, 4S, 2B)
Speed Skating 20.9 (1G, 3S)

4. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
208.2 PointsAlpine Skiing 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 29.2 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Cross Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Skeleton 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 33.4 (2G)
Snowboarding 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 18.7 (2G, 1B)

5. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
205 PointsBiathlon 10 (2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 35.4 (3G, 2S, 1B)
Curling 6.3 (1B)
Figure Skating 25 (1G)
Freestyle Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 50 (1G)
Luge 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Skeleton 12.5 (1S)

6. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
197.4 PointsBiathlon 27.5 (1G, 2S, 3B)
Bobsleigh 33.3 (1G, 1B, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 45.8 (4G, 2S, 2B)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Luge 4.2 (1B)
Nordic Combined 20.9 (1G, 1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 3.1 (1B)
Ski Jumping 8.3 (1S)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1G)
Speed Skating 18.8 (1G, 2S, 1B)

7. Dave Spence, Paragons
179.6 PointsAlpine Skiing 10 (2S)
Biathlon 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ice Hockey 25 (1S)
Luge 8.3 (1S)
Nordic Combined 4.2 (1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 40.7 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 25 (2G, 1S, 2B)

8. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
139.3 PointsAlpine Skiing 5 (2B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Cross-Country Skiing 20.9 (1G, 3S)
Curling 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 20.8 (2G, 1S)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

9. Joy Sadaly, Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney
131.3 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (2G, 1B)
Biathlon 27.5 (2G, 1S, 1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.3 (1G)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 41.7 (2G, 1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

Nordique Combined Needs A Miracle

Without going into too much detail on the results, since not everything has been shown on NBC, it is looking to all but the most ardent Nordique Combined fans that a Cornballers victory is imminent.

For Nordique Combined to win, they need Slovakia to win the bronze medal hockey game, Sweden to sweep all the medals in tomorrow's 50k Mass Start, and Canada to win the gold medal hockey game tomorrow. Otherwise Cornballers will win the competition.

I have the utmost admiration for the Swedish cross country skiers. If I were the best in the world at skiing 50 kilometers, I still don't think I would register to actually do it. However, I don't think they're going to sweep tomorrow's medals.
Apparently the difference in the Fantasy Winter Olympics is that while Cornballers manager Ellis Kunka made good picks throughout, Nordique Combined manager Brian Schwartz got a lot of points from a few of his top teams. That and cloud seeding.

We will continue to report on developments, including: the Slovakia score, and any conciliatory text messages.

Cornballers Extend Lead

Cornballers extended their lead with a bronze medal for the Netherlands in the men's speed skating relay.

Although the medal was only worth 2.1 points, they now lead by 62.6 points. Cornballers missed out on a 6.3 point men's curling medal earlier today as the Sweden men lost the bronze medal game.

Second place Nordique Combined, the only other team in contention, can take a maximum of 64.6 points Sunday. So Cornballers will clinch the Fantasy Winter Olympics if they lead by more than that amount at the end of the day today. A Finland win in tonight's bronze medal hockey game would be enough.

Nordique Combined's best chance at any more points today appears to be the Swiss four-man bobsled team, which is currently in sixth. They missed a big opportunity when Swedish skier Charlotte Kalla failed to medal in the 30k mass start.

Overall this thing is 99% clinched for Cornballers. Of course it would be 100% clinched if not for Sven Kramer's famous loss in the 10,000.

Only Two Contenders Remain

With gold medals from Sweden women's curling and Chinese short track skater Wang Mung tonight, Cornballers probably did just enough to take the Fantasy Winter Olympics crown.

It was a horrendous collapse for Adam Claus's first round pick, Canada curling. Ice Lugers was going to be a bottom three team no matter what, but they looked like they would take the gold medal with the last shot, already leading in the tenth end. Instead, Cornballers ended up with an extra end victory and the 25 point medal from their tenth round pick.

I am not scared of many people but I must admit I am scared of every women's curling player for various reasons.
Nordique Combined (Brian Schwartz) is in second, 60 points behind, and took only 11.3 points today. They still are in the race by virtue of the fact that they could get 50 more points if Canada wins Sunday's gold medal hockey game. They need a good day tomorrow to keep things interesting. If they enter Sunday less than 50 points behind though, their chances look good as Canada will clearly be favored.

Barring an unbelievable turn of events, all the other teams are now eliminated. Da Nang Dynamos didn't get enough short track medals to mount a threat, while Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches were eliminated when Slovakia's furious comeback against Canada hockey ended in a 3-2 loss. Fightin' Ovechkins and Banker's Club both were shut out Friday and are now too far behind to beat out Cornballers.

STANDINGS THROUGH FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26

1. Ellis Kunka, Cornballlers
265.5 PointsAlpine Skiing 42.5 (2G, 3S, 3B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Curling 25 (1G)
Figure Skating 31.3 (1G, 1B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.4 (1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 12.5 (1B)
Luge 25 (1G, 1S)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 50 (4G)
Ski Jumping 16.6 (2S)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 1S, 2B)

2. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
205 PointsBiathlon 10 (2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 35.4 (3G, 2S, 1B)
Curling 6.3 (1B)
Figure Skating 25 (1G)
Freestyle Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 50 (1G)
Luge 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Skeleton 12.5 (1S)

3. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
198.2 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Biathlon 40 (3G, 2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1S)
Short Track Speed Skating 56.4 (2G, 4S, 2B)
Speed Skating 12.6 (3S)

4. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
191.9 PointsBobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 2.1 (1B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Skeleton 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 33.4 (2G)
Snowboarding 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 18.7 (2G, 1B)

5. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
187.7 PointsAlpine Skiing 20 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Biathlon 17.5 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross Country Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Nordic Combined 41.6 (1G, 3S)
Short Track Speed Skating 25 (2S, 4B)
Ski Jumping 25.1 (1G, 2B)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 2S)

6. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
180.7 PointsBiathlon 27.5 (1G, 2S, 3B)
Bobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 41.6 (4G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Luge 4.2 (1B)
Nordic Combined 20.9 (1G, 1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 3.1 (1B)
Ski Jumping 8.3 (1S)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1G)
Speed Skating 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)

7. Dave Spence, Paragons
166.3 PointsAlpine Skiing 5 (1S)
Biathlon 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ice Hockey 25 (1S)
Luge 8.3 (1S)
Nordic Combined 4.2 (1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 40.7 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)

8. Joy Sadaly, Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney
114.6 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (2G, 1B)
Biathlon 27.5 (2G, 1S, 1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.3 (1G)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 25 (1G, 1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

9. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
107.6 PointsAlpine Skiing 2.5 (1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Cross-Country Skiing 20.9 (1G, 3S)
Curling 12.5 (1S)
Freestyle Skiing 20.8 (2G, 1S)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Snowboarding 12.5 (1S, 1B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

Binz's Last Stand Tonight In Short Track

Da Nang Dynamos, a top three team throughout the Games, needs an amazing night from Korea short track speed skating to come back to relevance. Dynamos manager John Binz has tried to seem nonchalant, eating pizza and watching hockey this afternoon. But the pressure is clearly getting to him, as he has made reference to working on a memo instead of watching the Olympics.

There are three short track events tonight, with each gold worth 12.5 points. The Dynamos need all three golds and probably a couple other medals as well.

Psragons (Dave Spence) need these medals just as much. They have played terribly and trail by 90 points, but a big night from Canada speed skating could get them close enough to win with a 50 point men's hickey gold. But ominously, the league leading Cornballers have a chance to spoil everything with their China short track team favored in the women's 1000.

The men's 5000 meter relay is the most likely gold for Da Nang Dynamos. Korea's relay team qualified first and won gold at the 2006 Olympics and the 2007 and 2008 World Championships. Canada qualified second and is the only team with much of a chance to beat them. China and the USA (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) should battle for the bronze. France (undrafted) is also in the final but won't win unless all four other teams fall or get disqualified.

The Men's 500 should split its medals between Canada and China. Canadians Charles Hamelin and Francois-Louis Tremblay are my picks for gold and silver. South Koreans Ho-Suk Lee and Si-Bak Sung should be in the final too and also could win it, though I'm just picking Lee for bronze. American Apolo Ohno will be in the mix too and will take full advantage if any of the favorites make a mistake. Ohno, surprisingly, leads all Olympic athletes of any gender in topless Google Image Search results.
The Women's 1000 is the event that I think will end the hopes of the Dynamos and Paragons. Wang Meng of China is my pick to take what would be a huge gold for the league leading Cornballers. Another Chinese skater, Zhao Yang, is my pick for silver. Ha-Ri Cho and Park Seung-Hi are good skaters for Korea, but I think the USA's Katherine Reutter, my pick for bronze, is the only other skater in the same league as the Chinese.

Cornballers Routed By USA Hockey

Cornballers, traditionally considered the Yankees of Fantasy Winter Olympics, are looking a lot more like the Mets. Cornballers manager Ellis Kunka failed to take even the smallest step to prepare his Finland hockey team for a game that could have locked up the Fantasy Olympic title. Was today's 6-1 USA win the start of an epic Cornballers collapse?

Canada Hockey has played exceptionally well since Nordique Combined manager Brian Schwartz reportedly skipped Evidence to coach the team in Vancouver. Faced with the same decision, an overconfident Ellis Kunka attended Evidence - a decision which directly led to six first period goals today by Team USA (Dave Spence/Paragons).
Cornballers still lead Nordique Combined by 33.3 points, but Nordique Combined could more than make up that difference if Canada takes the men's hockey gold medal.

Even if Canada gets upset by Slovakia tonight, Cornballers are not out of the woods. Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches trail by 59 points but could make up most of that difference with a Slovakia gold medal. Bitches manager Brittany B. skipped Cyberspace and the Law yesterday to plan her defensive pairings in hopes of stopping Canada's offense in tonight's game.

Overall, today's game was just a devastating loss by a team whose manager apparently thinks the Fantasy Olympics ended Wednesday.

Cornballers Hold On To Standings Lead

Cornballers (Ellis Kunka) continued to lead the standings, taking 21 points Thursday, but there was a major shakeup below them.

Nordique Combined (Brian Schwartz) moved into second with the biggest day of the Games for any team so far, winning 79.2 points last night. As was speculated on this site last night, Canada took the 50 point gold in women's hockey and South Korea won 25 with the figure skating gold. A silver from USA Freestyle Skiing completed the comeback. With Canada men's hockey still alive, they're now only 33 points behind Cornballers.

Our former second place team, Fightin' Ovechkins (Tim Lavoie), got just a cross country bronze and moved down to third. Da Nang Dynamos (John Binz), a top team throughout the past two weeks, was totally shut out and moved down to fifth. Banker's Club (Zach Chromiak) remained in fourth by taking gold with Norway's cross country relay and silver with Japan figure skating.

Also winning gold was Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches (Brittany B.) who took a surprising gold/silver combo with USA Nordic Combined.

STANDINGS THROUGH THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 25

1. Ellis Kunka, Cornballlers
228 PointsAlpine Skiing 42.5 (2G, 3S, 3B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 31.3 (1G, 1B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.4 (1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 12.5 (1B)
Luge 25 (1G, 1S)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 37.5 (3G)
Ski Jumping 16.6 (2S)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 1S, 2B)

2. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
194.7 PointsBiathlon 5 (1S)
Cross-Country Skiing 35.4 (3G, 2S, 1B)
Figure Skating 25 (1G)
Freestyle Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Ice Hockey 50 (1G)
Luge 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Skeleton 12.5 (1S)

3. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
191.9 PointsBobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 2.1 (1B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Skeleton 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 33.4 (2G)
Snowboarding 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 18.7 (2G, 1B)

4. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
180.7 PointsBiathlon 27.5 (1G, 2S, 3B)
Bobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 41.6 (4G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Luge 4.2 (1B)
Nordic Combined 20.9 (1G, 1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 3.1 (1B)
Ski Jumping 8.3 (1S)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1G)
Speed Skating 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)

5. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
172.5 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1S)
Short Track Speed Skating 40.7 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Speed Skating 12.6 (3S)

6. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
168.8 PointsAlpine Skiing 14.6 (1G, 2B)
Biathlon 17.5 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross Country Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Nordic Combined 41.6 (1G, 3S)
Short Track Speed Skating 15.7 (1S, 3B)
Ski Jumping 25.1 (1G, 2B)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 2S)

7. Dave Spence, Paragons
138.2 PointsAlpine Skiing 5 (1S)
Biathlon 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ice Hockey 25 (1S)
Luge 8.3 (1S)
Nordic Combined 4.2 (1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 12.6 (2S)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)

8. Joy Sadaly, Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney
112.1 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (2G, 1B)
Biathlon 25 (2G, 1S)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.3 (1G)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 25 (1G, 1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

9. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
95.1 PointsAlpine Skiing 2.5 (1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Cross-Country Skiing 20.9 (1G, 3S)
Freestyle Skiing 20.8 (2G, 1S)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Snowboarding 12.5 (1S, 1B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

Possible Nordique Combined Comeback?

Brian Schwartz's Nordique Combined team, which has fallen far back of the leaders, needs a big night to get back into contention. Golds from Canada women's hockey and South Korean figure skating could provide the team 75 points, and medals from USA freestyle skiing would help. Otherwise Schwartz's squad is finished.

11 AM & 3:30 PM PST - Ice Hockey
Ice hockey was covered in our medal round preview. Both women's games are important today, as the bronze medal game features our first and third place fantasy teams. Ellis Kunka, managing Cornballers (Finland) takes on John Binz's Da Nang Dynamos (Sweden). The gold medal game shapes up as a virtual elimination match between Brian Schwartz's Nordique Combined (Canada) and Paragons, managed by Dave Spence (USA). Both teams trail by nearly 100 points and need double gold in hockey to win the Fantasy Olympics.

5 PM PST - Figure Skating
The final figure skating medal is the women's individual, worth 25 points for gold. Ranking first after the short program is the favorite Yu-Na Kim (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined). Kim, the favorite going in and clearly the best skater during the free skate, leads by almost five points and will win gold unless she falls. She won't.

Japanese skater Mao Asada (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) had a very good short program and is in second, 2.5 points ahrad of the Canadian Joannie Rochette (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers). As I'm sure you know, Rochette's mother died yesterday and is on home ice, both advantages in the judging. Luckily I will not be watching so I don't have to hear NBC announcers imply that winning the bronze medal somewhat offsets her mother's death by saying that it doesn't.

Japan's Miki Ando is in fourth and the USA's Rachael Flatt and Mirai Nagasu (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) are in fifth and sixth. As always, nobody below that has a chance to pick up a medal.

6 PM PST - Freestyle Skiing
Freestyle skiing wraps up with the Men's Aerials. The only countries represented in the final are China, Canada, the USA, Switzerland and Belarus. The field is wide open after Belarus's Anton Kushnir (undrafted), aerials champion in four of six World Cups this year, fell in qualifying and did not advance.

My pick to win is Canada's Steve Omischl (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers). He took silver in the 2009 World Championships and has 40 top three finishes in his career. Take the home team in a judged sport.
Canadian Kyle Nissen is my choice for silver. He has only won two World Cup aerial golds in his career but is always near the top. Guangpu Qi of China (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) has three World Cup silvers this year in aerials and is my pick for bronze.

The U.S. (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined) has a couple of veteran athletes, Ryan St. Onge and Jeret Speedy Peterson, but I don't expect either to medal.

Thursday Fantasy Skiing Picks

9:30 AM PST - Alpine SkiingThe ladies' Giant Slalom finishes up after postponing their second run yesterday due to fog. Austria (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) has three of the top four skiers after the first run including first place Elisabeth Goergl. Tania Barioz of France (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) is in second only .02 seconds behind.
Undrafted Tina Maze of Slovenia is in fifth while two German skiers, also undrafted, are in sixth and seventh. Americans Lindsey Vonn and Julia Mancuso (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) are out of the running.

10 AM & 1 PM PST - Nordic CombinedNordic Combined finishes today with the Large Hill ski jump/10k cross country race. My pick to win the 16.7 point gold medal is Magnus Moan of Norway (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined), the strongest skier in the field. If he gets a decent jump he should be close enough to chase down whoever starts ahead of him in the 10k.

Jason Lamy Chappuis, born in Missoula, Montana, is competing for France (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) and won the normal hill/10k event. He's my pick for silver. The USA's Bill Demong (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) of Saranac Lake, New York, is the defending World Cup champion and my choice for bronze.

11 AM PST - Cross Country SkiingLed by the top women's skier in the world, Marit Bjoergen, Norway (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) is a heavy favorite to win the Women's 4x5k relay.

The Germans (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) won the team sprint and with a relay led by Evi Sachenbacher-Stehle and Claudia Nystad are my choice for silver. Russia (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) has two good skiers in Irina Khazova and Natalie Korosteleva and is my pick for bronze.

Finland (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) was the favorite in this event going into the Games but hasn't won any medals yet in the individual events. Sweden (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined) is traditionally good in this relay too but I don't think they have enough strong siers behind Charlotte Kalla.

Curling Medal Rounds Start Today

While it has been overshadowed by the hockey tournament, curling nevertheless has two 25 point gold medals at stake. Our first place team, Cornballers, made both the men's and women's medal rounds with Team Sweden and hopes to add to their Fantasy Olympic lead. #3 Da Nang Dynamos are also alive in both rounds and need a couple of big wins by Switzerland to move up.

9 AM & 2 PM PST - CurlingOn the women's side the top four teams in the world all moved on to the semifinals. The first semifinal at 9 a.m. local time matches China (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined), 6-3 in the Games and ranked fourth in the world, with world #2 Sweden (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers), 7-2 in the Games. China lost 6-4 in their first match with Sweden, but has a higher composit score because of Sweden's 10-1 blowout loss to Russia. While Sweden is a traditional power, China has only recently become a major world team but is technically sound. China was the silver medal favorite going in and is a slight favorite in the semifinal.

The other semifinal on paper is more of a mismatch. World #1 Canada (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) went 8-1 with their only loss to China, while world #3 Switzerland (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) went 6-3 including a 5-4 loss to Canada. Anything less than gold would be a major disappointment for the home team, and they should get past Switzerland again. Especially considering they have the hot chick who's mad all the time.
The men's finals start at 2 p.m. with world #1 Canada taking on world #8 Sweden. Canada went 9-0 in the round robin including an easy 7-3 win over Sweden. Sweden went 5-4 but got a huge upset of world #2 Great Britain to move on to the medal rounds. Canada is obviously a heavy favorite and has clearly been the best team so far with six easy wins among their nine matches.

In the other semifinal, world #3 Norway (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) plays world #5 Switzerland. Norway (7-2) won the teams' first matchup 7-4 but Switzerland (6-3) played well including a 7-3 win over Sweden a couple of days ago. Norway is a slight favorite.

Lavoie Narrows Standings Gap

Tim Lavoie got both the gold and silver from his Canadian women's bobsled team, and a gold in the women's 5000 from the Czech skater Martina Sablikova. The 33 point day moved his Fightin' Ovechkins into second place - but it may have been a Pyrrhic victory as his Russian hockey team was eliminated from medal contention. He'll need some help to move up to first, but the bobsled wins were the first step.
Continuing his penchant for controversy, Ellis Kunka got a disputed short track gold from the Chinese team in the women's short track relay. Korea appeared to have secured the gold for John Binz's Da Nang Dynamos but was disqualified for pushing, giving the 12.5 point gold to Cornballers. Replays showed that the push was a response to contact initiated by the Chinese. Cornballers' Chinese freestyle skiing team also took silver and bronze in the women's aerials. Ellis Kunka also advanced his Finnish hockey team to the semifinals and is the clear favorite to win.

Da Nang Dynamos was really hurt by the short track disqualification, which caused an 18.8 point swing between them and the league leading Cornballers. They did get a gold from Lydia Lassila, the Australian freestyle skier.
Banker's Club had a rough day, getting just a silver from Norway's cross country relay team. They failed to get expected medals from German bobsleigh and Zach Chromiak's squad was eliminated from contention in men's curling (Britain) and men's hockey (Switzerland). That could spell the end for Banker's Club, which will need everything to go right to have a shot at first.

Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches got only two bronzes today and at press time was hoping for an unlikely Slovak hockey gold to remain in contention. Along the same lines, Nordique Combined got a gold from Sweden's cross country relay and still is alive for both hockey medals, but is now so far behind that they could finish out of first even with 100 points. Paragons, who won a silver and bronze today, likewise need 100 points in hockey to have a chance and have both USA teams alive for gold.

STANDINGS THROUGH WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 24

1. Ellis Kunka, Cornballlers
207.1 PointsAlpine Skiing 42.5 (2G, 3S, 3B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 25 (1G)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Luge 25 (1G, 1S)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 37.5 (3G)
Ski Jumping 16.6 (2S)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 1S, 2B)

2. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
189.8 PointsBobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Skeleton 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 33.4 (2G)
Snowboarding 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 18.7 (2G, 1B)

3. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
172.5 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1S)
Short Track Speed Skating 40.7 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Speed Skating 12.6 (3S)

4. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
155.7 PointsBiathlon 27.5 (1G, 2S, 3B)
Bobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 33.3 (3G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Luge 4.2 (1B)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 3.1 (1B)
Ski Jumping 8.3 (1S)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1G)
Speed Skating 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)

5. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
141.7 PointsAlpine Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1B)
Biathlon 17.5 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross Country Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Nordic Combined 16.6 (2S)
Short Track Speed Skating 15.7 (1S, 3B)
Ski Jumping 25.1 (1G, 2B)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 2S)

6. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
115.5 PointsBiathlon 5 (1S)
Cross-Country Skiing 35.4 (3G, 2S, 1B)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 2B)
Luge 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Skeleton 12.5 (1S)

7. Dave Spence, Paragons
113.2 PointsAlpine Skiing 5 (1S)
Biathlon 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Luge 8.3 (1S)
Nordic Combined 4.2 (1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 12.6 (2S)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)

8. Joy Sadaly, Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney
112.1 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (2G, 1B)
Biathlon 25 (2G, 1S)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (2B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.3 (1G)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 25 (1G, 1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

9. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
90.9 PointsAlpine Skiing 2.5 (1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 2S)
Freestyle Skiing 20.8 (2G, 1S)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Snowboarding 12.5 (1S, 1B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

Cornballers Favored For 2 Golds Tonight

6:15 PM PST - BobsleighCanada (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) has the top team after two rounds in the two-woman bobsleigh, with the remaining heats at 5 and 6:15 p.m. local time. Kaillie Humphries and Heather Moyse are in first. I have no idea if this is them, but this is most certainly a Canadian bobsled team.
Team USA (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) has the second place sled with Erin Pac and Elana Meyers just 0.13 seconds behind. Canada could get two medals with Helen Upperton and Shelley-Ann Brown currently in fourth.

Germany (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club), always a force in the gravity sports, is currently in third and fifth. They'll certainly be ready to move up if either of the top two teams make a mistake. The difference between #3 and #5 is 0.04 seconds, with the top two teams comfortably in front by bobsled standards.

6:26 PM PST - Short Track Speed SkatingThe final in the women's 3000 meter relay is an interesting event because there is no set distance per skater. The team of four skaters decides how many laps each skater will race, as long as the final laps are covered by the same person. There are usually seven or eight exchanges per team in the race.

My pick for gold is China's team of Linlin Sun, Wang Meng, Hui Zhang and Zhou Yang (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers). Having the top skater at the end is key, and the Chinese have exactly that in Meng. They set the Olympic record in qualifying and it would be a major upset if China lost. But remember, anythign can happen in short track. China similarly was a heavy favorite and was disqualified at Turin.

Korea's team of Ha-Ri Cho, Min-Jung Kim, Eun-Byul Lee and Seung-Hi Park (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) qualified with the second fastest time. They are the defending gold medal winner and finished less than a second out of gold at the 2009 World Championships. I'm picking them for second.

Team USA (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) is my choice for bronze. Kimberly Derrick, Alyson Dudek, Lana Gehring and Katherine Reutter skated in the qualifying rounds. Allison Baver, a Berks County native, will skate in the finals although I'm not sure who she's replacing. She appears to have at a minimum, bronze medal talent.
Team Canada (Dave Spence/Paragons) - Jessica Gregg, Kalyna Roberge, Marianne St-Gelais and Tania Vicent - has won the bronze at every World Cup event this season. St-Gelais, Gregg and Roberge all finished in the top 6 in the 500, but I think they'll get shut out in the relay.

7:30 PM PST - Freestyle SkiingOnly four countries have qualified athletes for the Women's Aerials final. Athletes can choose two of many different jumps that combine back flips and twists with differing degrees of difficulty. Athletes are judged on the quality of take off, height gained, form and body position, and how they maintain balance upon landing.

My pick to win is Nina Li of China (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers). She is a three time world champion and won the silver at Turin.

Lydia Lassila of Australia (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) is my choice for silver. She's already won two World Cup aerials events this year and would have medaled at Turin if not for injury.
Guo Xinxin of China is my pick for bronze. According to her Vancouver Olympic profile her hobbies are "Collecting personal accessories, shopping and spending time with her parents." It seems like she has a lot of time to practice.

Among other competitors, Jacqui Cooper of Australia returns at age 37. She crashed on both jumps at Turin but is a four time World Cup champion, and the greatest freestyle skier of all time. Team USA (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined) includes Ashley Caldwell (Hampton, Virginia), Lacy Schnoor (Draper, Utah) and Emily Cook (Belmont, Mass.). I think all but Cook are too inexperienced to medal this time around. Latvia (undrafted) is the only other country with skiers in the final.

Lavoie Favored in Speed Skating

1 PM PST - Speed SkatingWhenever the words 5000 and women are involved, you have to pick Tim Lavoie to win. In the women's 5000 speed skate, the Czech skater Martina Sáblíková should take gold for the Czech Republic and Lavoie's Fightin' Ovechkins. This is the longest women's race of the Games, and Sablikova took this event at the past three World Championships. She also holds the world record and won the 3000 easily. It would be a major upset if she lost.

The German skater Stephanie Beckert took silver in the 3000 and is my choice for silver in the 5000. This is her best event and she has a distance event medal at every World Cup event this year. However, she lost the 3000 by over two seconds which is too much time to make up in this race. Another German skater, Daniela Anschütz-Thoms, has three World Cup medals this year and is my choice for bronze.

A trio of Canadians, Clara Hughes, Kristina Groves and Cindy Klassen, are the other threats for medals.
1:15 PM PST - Alpine SkiingIn the women's giant slalom, each skier makes two runs down two different courses on the same slope. The times for both runs are then combined with the fastest total time determining the winner.

Brittany B. really needs the Austrians to take gold medals in the two remaining alpine events. Her first round Alpine pick has really been the undoing of a deep Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches team. They took 14 medals at Turin but have just two so far this year. Kathrin Zettel is her best hope with seven World Cup titles in this event, and is my pick for Olympic gold.

Keeping things in the Kathrin family, Kathrin Hölzl of Germany (undrafted) is my choice for silver. She was relatively unknown until a year ago, but won the World Championship in this event in 2009 and also won the giant slalom at two recent World Cup races.

Tina Maze of Slovenia (undrafted) has seven career World Cup wins in this event and was the flag bearer for her country, which has to be good for bronze.
Tanja Poutiainen of Finland (undrafted) won the season title in this event last year and is another contender. Finally, this is usually the worst event for the USA's Lindsay Vonn (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) but she can't be counted out either.

Chromiak Favored In Cross Country Relay

11:15 AM PST - Cross Country Skiing
Today's daytime medals begin with cross country skiing. In the men's 4x10k Relay, each of four athletes skis 10 kilometers with the first two competitors racing in classic style and the last two skiers racing in freestyle format.

While this event is almost always dominated by the plus sign flag countries, 50 degree conditions have made cross country a bit more unpredictable this year. Nevertheless, my pick to win is Norway (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club). Their team of Eldar Ronning, Odd-Bjorn Hjelmeset, Tore Rouud Hofstad, and Petter Northug won the 2009 World Championship and should take the gold despite some struggles in the individual events. That would be a big win for a program that finished just fifth at Turin after taking two consecutive gold medals previously in this event.
Apart from Norway the best distance skiers belong to Sweden (Brian Schwartz/Nordique Combined), as we saw in the 30k. Although Italy took a surprising win, Norway's archrival Swedes are the only real threat to beat them this year and are my pick for silver.

For bronze, the undrafted Canadians are hoping for their first cross country medal in this event after placing three skiers in the top 10 in the 30k. It won't happen. The bronze will come down to more traditional powers Germany (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers) or Russia (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) with my pick being Germany.

Standings Finally Updated

I have redone the standings from scratch. Not much difference but I apologize for the couple of errors. Basically I had been counting one freestyle skiing event as alpine which changed the point values.

These were compiled during a corporate law class at a top 71 USA law school making them as official as can be.

1. Ellis Kunka, Cornballlers
188.3 PointsAlpine Skiing 42.5 (2G, 3S, 3B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 25 (1G)
Luge 25 (1G, 1S)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 25 (2G)
Ski Jumping 16.6 (2S)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 1S, 2B)

2. John Binz, Da Nang Dynamos
160 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (1G, 2S, 1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 2S)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 1S, 2B)
Figure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Short Track Speed Skating 40.7 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Speed Skating 8.4 (2S)

3. Tim Lavoie, Fightin' Ovechkins
156.5 PointsFigure Skating 37.5 (1G, 1S)
Freestyle Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Skeleton 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Ski Jumping 33.4 (2G)
Snowboarding 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Speed Skating 10.4 (1G, 1B)

4. Zach Chromiak, Banker's Club
151.5 PointsBiathlon 27.5 (1G, 2S, 3B)
Bobsleigh 25 (1G, 1S)
Cross Country Skiing 29.1 (3G, 2B)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Luge 4.2 (1B)
Nordic Combined 16.7 (1G)
Short Track Speed Skating 3.1 (1B)
Ski Jumping 8.3 (1S)
Snowboarding 16.7 (1G)
Speed Skating 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)

5. Brittany B., Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches
134.3 PointsAlpine Skiing 12.5 (1G, 1B)
Biathlon 17.5 (1G, 1S, 1B)
Cross Country Skiing 6.3 (1S, 1B)
Figure Skating 6.3 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Nordic Combined 16.6 (2S)
Short Track Speed Skating 12.5 (1S, 2B)
Ski Jumping 25.1 (1G, 2B)
Speed Skating 33.3 (3G, 2S)

6. Joy Sadaly, Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney
110 PointsAlpine Skiing 22.5 (2G, 1B)
Biathlon 25 (2G, 1S)
Cross-Country Skiing 2.1 (1B)
Freestyle Skiing 8.3 (1G)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 25 (1G, 1S)
Speed Skating 2.1 (1B)

7. Brian Schwartz, Nordique Combined
107.2 PointsBiathlon 5 (1S)
Cross-Country Skiing 27.1 (2G, 2S, 1B)
Freestyle Skiing 12.5 (1G, 2B)
Luge 50.1 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Skeleton 12.5 (1S)

8. Dave Spence, Paragons
104.8 PointsAlpine Skiing 5 (1S)
Biathlon 10 (1G)
Bobsleigh 4.2 (1B)
Cross-Country Skiing 4.2 (1S)
Figure Skating 18.8 (1S, 1B)
Luge 8.3 (1S)
Nordic Combined 4.2 (1B)
Short Track Speed Skating 6.3 (1S)
Skeleton 25 (1G)
Snowboarding 4.2 (1B)
Speed Skating 14.6 (1G, 1S, 1B)

9. Adam Claus, Ice Lugers
90.9 PointsAlpine Skiing 2.5 (1B)
Biathlon 30 (2G, 1S, 2B)
Cross-Country Skiing 16.7 (1G, 2S)
Freestyle Skiing 20.8 (2G, 1S)
Ski Jumping 4.2 (1B)
Snowboarding 12.5 (1S, 1B)
Speed Skating 4.2 (1S)

Standings Delayed Amid Binz Appeal

Current standings are on hold while our staff considers an appeal by Da Nang Dynamos manager John Binz. Standings compiler "B.S." has become embroiled in controversy as it was also revealed that the number of points for Freestyle Skiing has been incorrectly calculated. This may or may not be related to last Thursday's "12 PBR and then some other beers" standings compilation.

It is of paramount importance to resolve this situation in the most professional and efficient manner possible, taking into account the specialization and transaction cost advantages of the corporate structure as explained by, inter alia, Ronald Coase.

Therefore I will wait and resolve this matter during Business Organizations tomorrow morning, at which time new standings will be posted. We have also removed last night's incorrect standings. Rest assured that Adam Claus will still, however, be in last, for we were not that far off.