Lavoie Blows It Again

Tim Lavoie suffered another crushing defeat in snowboarding, and is currently chewing on a straw while drinking a warm PBR. Vermonter Kelly Clark, the heavy favorite, blew both of her runs and finished with just a bronze.

"It's the most disappointment I've had in a performance by a New Englander since my last time with a woman," said the Maine native Lavoie.

Australian Torah Bright took the gold for Zach Chromiak's Banker's Club. I picked her for bronze but I certainly noted her talent. What a great pick for Banker's Club in the 14th round.

"I'd just like to say that I was sitting on the pick. I knew it all along," said Chromiak. "I'm speechless."

What a shitty quote. But nonetheless he gets the 16.7 points.

Lavoie settled for silver and bronze. 12.4 points doesn't sound that bad, but compared to expectations it was another disgrace for Fightin' Ovechkins. Maybe he'll name his next team after a player who can play on more than one side of the ice.

For the record, I'm still in love with Toledo's own Gretchen Bleiler. She looked great finishing 11th out of 12.

Possible 50 Point Night for Lavoie

Only two medals are up tonight, but both are huge ones. With victories from USA Figure Skating and USA Snowboarding, the previously disgraced Tim Lavoie could manage his Fightin' Ovechkins near the top of the standings. I know you'll be watching.

5 PM EST - Figure Skating
Tonight we will see whether there's any truth to barroom rumors of a "quad-quad" combo, as well as who gets 25 points in men's figure skating.

The Dave Spence-managed Paragons really need this gold medal and I think they'll get it. Evgeni Plushenko of Russia won the short program, and considering I find men's figure skating unwatchable, I have to pick everyone to remain in the same position. Note that this is in no way a validation of Spence's choice in making Russian figure skating his first round pick. Though drafting can be a difficult exercise, EVERY TEAM ON THE BOARD was still available. As a side note, people in the final row of Legislation may be questioning my sexuality based on some of the images that came up while I was searching for a Pleshenko illustration during class.
American Evan Lysacek (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) was second in the short program and Johnny Weir was sixth. The 25 point medal would obviously be huge for Lavoie and could vault his team all the way into the top three.

Japan's Daisuke Takahashi (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) was third. Takahashi sounds like he would be a pretty solid lefthanded set-up man with strikeout skills and good control. Another Japanese skater, Nobunari Oda, was fourth and clearly would be a slugger, batting fifth in a good lineup.

Fifth place Stephane Lambiel (undrafted), skating for Switzerland, is the only other skater with a realistic chance to medal, though the seventh place Canadian Patrick Chan (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) could benefit from home ice advantage in a judged sport.

6 PM PST - Snowboarding
Tim Lavoie's Fightin' Ovechkins could rocket up the standings tonight with a sweep of the Women's Half Pipe. USA Snowboarding is the only thing keeping Lavoie's squad afloat, with two gold medals already. The Americans are favored to continue their dominance tonight.

My pick for the 16.7 point gold, representing Toledo, Ohio, is Gretchen Bleiler. It's pretty hard to imagine thinking about snowboarding without thinking about Northwest Ohio. She won silver at Turin and has improved her skills since then, culminating in an electrifying performance in the Super Pipe at the Winter X Games.

Burlington, Vermont's own Kelly Clark took the gold in this event at Salt Lake City at the age of 18, then finished fourth at Turin. I think she'll have a great run, I just can't pick Tim Lavoie to win gold with another Vermont athlete.

Although the Americans are the favorites and the event is scored based on two runs, we saw last night that it's very possible for even a top 6 athlete to fall during both runs. There's another group below them that could easily take the gold.

The athlete with the best chance to upset the Americans is Australian Torah Bright (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club). She's finished in the top two in Super Pipe at the past four X Games. While she probably can't beat a perfect run by either of my top two choices, Bright is more consistent and is unlikely to be kept off the podium.

Also a threat for gold is Hannah Teter, another Vermont native, who recently took some time off to found a charity supporting humanitarian efforts in Kenya. While she just qualified for the Games in January and some are doubting her chances due to time away from the sport, remember that she won gold in Turin despite coming off an injury that threatened her chances to even compete.

Four Medals Contested Tonight

The Fantasy Winter Olympics competion intensifies with our first four gold medal night. Tim Lavoie's Fightin' Ovechkins are favored to get back on track with a 16.7 medal in snowboarding, but then again you could have said the same thing last night. Meanwhile Brian Schwartz's Nordique Combined should win luge to complete a clean sweep of that sport's golds.

4:00 PM PST - Speed Skating
In tonight's men's 1000 meter race, American Shani Davis is heavily favored to take the gold for Zach Chromiak's Banker's Club. Davis, who took gold in the 1000 at Turin and has won two World Championships in the event, is everyone's pick for gold including mine.
I'm picking South Koreans (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) for the other medals. Mo Tae-Bum, who took gold in the 500, is my choice for silver in the 1000. Lee Kyu-Hyeok is my pick for bronze. Kyu-Hyeok won both 1000 meter races at the World Sprint Championships last month, but few top skaters competed with the Olympics so close.

All time great Jeremy Wotherspoon of Canada (Dave Spence/Paragons) is another contender but has lost a step at age 33. Canadian Denny Morrison should also finish near the top.

6:30 PM PST - Luge
Brian Schwartz's Nordique Combined team will sweep the luge medals if a German pair can win tonight's doubles luge event. Unlike the singles, the doubles teams make only two runs, making this a less predictable competition. The first run starts at 5 PM PST with the second run about an hour and a half later.

There's no point in picking against the Germans now. I like the German pair Andre Florschuetz and Torsten Wustlich to take the 16.7 point gold. And I'm picking the other German pair Patrick Leitner/Alexander Resch for silver.

The bronze medal should be a battle between Austrians Andreas Linger and Wolfgang Linger (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) and Italy's Christian Overstolz/Patrick Gruber (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club). I'm picking the suspiciously German sounding Italian team.

7:07 PM PST - Short Track Speed Skating
In the women's 500 meter short track event, China's Wang Meng (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers) is as close as it gets to a sure thing in the Olympics. She's a four time world champion in the 500 and took gold in the event at Turin. How good is she? If you bet a dollar on her to medal, you win one cent. I won't risk my dollar but I'm picking her for gold.

Canadian Kalyna Roberge (Dave Spence/Paragons), the 2007 world champion, is my choice for silver. As this picture shows, it is a real testament to the greatness of Wang Meng that an athlete this talented would not be the gold medal favorite.

I'm also picking a Canadian for bronze: Jessica Gregg, who took the 500 meter bronze in the 2009 World Championships. A couple of 18 year olds makin their Olympic debuts, South Korean Lee Eun-Byul (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos) and China's Zhou Yang, also could medal.

7:15 PM PST - Snowboarding
Snowboarding continues with the Men's Half Pipe, an event that Tim Lavoie's heavily favored Fightin' Ovechkins can ill afford to blow after last night's embarassment.

Shaun White of the Ovechkins' Team USA took the gold in this event at Turin and is a prohibitive favorite to repeat. Anything can happen in snowboarding, but White was first in qualifying and I think he'll take the gold.

Iouri Podladtchikov of Switzerland (Dave Spence/Paragons) won the half pipe at the 2008 World Cup and is quite excited at the prospect of killing off the free falling Ovechkins' chances with a gold. Although his name makes him sound like the kind of hardcore punk who dominates the sport, I'm picking him for silver.

American Louie Vito, a two-time U.S. Snowboarding Grand Priz champion, is my choice for bronze. Another American, Scott Lago, is a contender but is better at the non-Olympic quarter pipe. Japan's Kazuhiro Kokubo (undrafted) is his country's best hope to medal in the sport but I think he'll fall short.

Lavoie Despondent After Jacobellis DQd

Fightin' Ovechkins manager Tim Lavoie was displeased, to say the least, with snowboard cross favorite Lindsey Jacobellis's horrendous loss.

An exasperated Lavoie was clearly in no shape to answer questions.

"I'm f---ing losing it, OK? That's what's going on," said the now-discredited Lavoie, who had been counting on a gold from his fellow New England native.

"I was hoping to have a bagel with her at the bagel shop in Burlington where you don't need to wear a shirt. Now, total role reversal. I think she would be honored to have a bagel with me."

Lavoie chose USA snowboarding with his first round pick. What a disaster. His already shaky managerial reputation has decreased from "lackluster" to "horrendous" or worse.

Not only did Jacobellis go off course and get disqualified, but she did the one thing no one expected her to do: lose in unspectacular fashion. Usually she wins, or loses in an incredible crash, or at least stirs up a major "Preps vs. Punks" debate while blowing the gold medal. At the Vancouver games though, it was a semifinal disqualification for a totally unimpressive crash.

At press time Lavoie was trying to keep up appearances by halfheartedly sending text messages.

Women's Sports Take Center Stage

Alpine skiing's Men's Super Combined has been postponed due once again to weather issues, but three more medals will be given out this afternoon.

10:30 AM PST - BiathlonWomen's biathlon resumes with the 10k Pursuit. Biathlon is unique in that start times for the pursuit are determined by the finishes in the sprint, so the winners of that event can start with a huge advantage.

My pick once again is the six-time World Champion, German Magdalena Neuner (Adam Claus/Ice Lugers), starting second. She wom silver in the 7.5k Sprint and clearly has a lot of talent.
I think Sweden's Helena Jonsson (Dave Spence/Paragons), who failed to medal in the 7.5k, will come back to take silver despite starting 12th. Slovakia's Anastazia Kuzmina (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches), who won the first ever gold for her country and for her fantasy team, is my pick for bronze out of the first position.

Also starting in the first five are France's Marie Dorn (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club), Russian Anna Boulygina (Ellis Kunka/Cornballers), and Kazakhstan's Elena Khrustaleva (undrafted).

12:40 PM PST - SnowboardingWomen's snowboarding begins with the Cross Finals. The USA's Lindsey Jacobellis (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins), who memorably blew a sure gold in this event at Turin by trying a pointless trick, is my choice for silver again.

While an American gold would be another huge 16.7 point gold medal for Tim Lavoie, for gold I'm taking Canadian Maëlle Ricker (Joy Sadaly/Olympic Ring Worm Wood Stock Market District Attorney). How hot is that double dotted E? She leads the snowboarding World Cup and was born in Whistler, British Columbia.
My choice for bronze is Norwegian Helene Olafsen (Nordique Combined). Canada's Dominique Maltais is another contender to medal.

12:45 PM PST - BiathlonAfter running the 10k Sprint in poor conditions, competitors hope for better weather for the Men's 12.5k Pursuit. Like in the women's pursuit, start times are determined by the Sprint performance.

Norway's Emil Hegle Svendsen (John Binz/Da Nang Dynamos), starting second, is a heavy favorite for gold.

Frenchman Vincent Jay (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club), starting first, is my pick for silver. Bronze is a tough one, especially for this prognosticator who just found out what events are in the biathlon a week ago. I'll go with the Ukraine's Andriy Deryzemlya (undrafted), starting fifth.

Norwegian Ole-Einar Bjørndalen was the favorite going into the Games, but he missed three shots in the Sprint and will start just 17th making him a longshot to medal. Still, he's the best skier in the competition and can't be counted out.

Also starting in the top five are Croatian Jakov Fak (undrafted) and Slovenia's Klemen Bauer (undrafted).

Figure Skating Highlights Evening Action

Three more gold medals will be given out this evening, as our Fantasy Winter Olympics league hopes to keep up its collective streak of flawlessly picking the gold and silver medal winners.

2:53 PM PST - Snowboarding
Snowboarding opens with the Men's Snowboard Cross. Frenchman Pierre Vaultier is a huge favorite to take this big 16.7 point medal for Adam Claus's Ice Lugers. He's won the cross in four of five World Cup events this season, finishing second in the other one. He's an obvious pick for gold in Canada.
Xavier De La Rue took silver in this event at last year's World Championships and is a threat to take a second French medal. But I'm taking a couple of Americans (Tim Lavoie/Fightin' Ovechkins) for the other medals. The USA's Nate Holland, the only athlete to beat Vaultier, is my choice for silver. I expect Seth Wescott, from the snowboarding mecca of Durham, North Carolina, to win bronze.

3:30 PM PST - Speed Skating
While the distance events belong to the Dutch in this sport, the 500 meter, 1.25 lap sprint is the forte of the North American and Asian nations.

Race 1 is at 3:30 PST and Race 2 is two hours later.

I'm picking Jeremy Wotherspoon (Dave Spence/Paragons) to take Canada's second gold medal, and South Koreans Lee Kang-Seok and Lee Kyou-Hyuk (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) for silver and bronze.

Japan's Keiichiro Nagashima (undrafted) and the USA's Tucker Fredericks (Zach Chromiak/Banker's Club) also have a good chance to medal.

5 PM PST - Figure Skating
Finally, the event that brings tears to our eyes yet warms our hearts. The Pairs Figure Skating free skate.

The Chinese, and of course John Binz's Da Nang Dynamos, are looking great in this one. Xue Shen and Hongbo Zhao turned in the best short program of all time last night and of course rank first. Dan Zhang and Hao Zhang are fifth and Qing Pang/Jian Tong are fourth going in.
Sorry everyone else, but there's just no way Shen/Zhao can be dethroned. I also think Pang/Tong will move up to silver. The love between these two couples was so apparent, that even eating Wendy's with John Binz while watching it made for a romantic Valentine's Day. The longer and less constrained free skate will allow for even more of this love to bloom in the judges hearts, manifesting itself in high scores written in ink warmed by romance.

Russians Yuko Kavaguti and Alexander Smirnov (Dave Spence/Paragons) also had a beautiful short program to place third. I think they'll hang on and get the bronze.

The Germans Aliona Savchenko and Robin Szolkowy (Brittany B./Buck-Toothed Rabbit Bitches) really scared me with their opera outfits and Sharpie eyebrows, so despite placing second last night I'm predicting they move down to fourth.